Last Friday morning on BART, I sat across from a woman in a neon pink and lime green ski jacket. She was playing some conquer-a-medieval-fiefdom computer game on a gigantic laptop. It was truly the largest laptop I have seen since we collected every base model PC and laptop for trial demonstratives a couple years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if it weighed 15 pounds.
This woman also had the world's greatest salt-n-pepper mullet. The long part was meticulously combed and descended like a lesbian version of Rapunzel down the ENTIRE LENGTH of her ski jacket. It was absolutely huge. The top, short part of the mullet was probably the best though. The hair on the crown of her head was pulled tightly forward almost like a Caesar until it came to the very front where it met the manicured bangs. The bangs did not merely meld into the top nor hang loosely down over her sloped, cro-magnon brow ridge. Instead, they were permed and poofed--like someone surgically attached a chrysanthemum to the point on her head where her forehead met the crown of her skull.
I watched her for several minutes on the way into San Francisco--looking for any sort of unnatural movement from the mullet like the chrysanthemum shooting out from her forehead, bearing its previously sheathed teeth, and screeching at me like when the alien baby shot out of John Hurt's stomach in Alien. It didn't happen, of course. All I really noticed was that she was breathing through her mouth the whole time.
Posted by nils at 2:35 PM